no longer homeless in denver

leave

2012-01-25T18:13:00.000-08:00

About 5 years ago, I left home. I packed my things and I moved to Colorado and I started this blog. I'm really thankful for this blog because I can look back on my time in the 'rado and remember how I felt when I was away from all-things-comfortable. So that when I start thinking about going back to "all-things-uncomfortable" I can either get really terrified or really excited, depending on the day, hour or minute. I was looking back on a post from 2007 and I quoted Donald Miller because it was relevant to my life (having just left home)....as I re read it tonight, it feels relevant again, like I was supposed to read it again on this night with this mood and this mindset.....it feels alive to me again but in a very different way. Here is the quote I am referring to:
"It is interesting how you sometimes have to leave home before you can ask difficult questions, how the questions never come up in the bedroom you grew up in, in the town in which you were born. It’s funny how you can’t ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal
The trouble with you and me is we are used to what is happening to us...........

We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it?
It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you.

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry. Everything will be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

~Through Painted Deserts, Donald Miller

It makes my heart leap and sink when I think about leaving Philadelphia now. To think about what I have done and all I have accomplished; the friends I have made from then until now. But that yearning to leave is still there...on the tip of my tongue, tugging on my heart strings, hanging on every thought. I wonder if its because I am naturally a wanderer. If I will ever be satisfied. Sometimes I think the word "stay" is a harder concept for me to grasp when so many others just roll around in it until their hands get all pruny.

I have stayed in Philadelphia for 3.5 years now. I have tried out "staying" and I think it fits me. But ironically enough the feeling of "leave" never quite leaves my mind and heart. For now I am here and I am content but I can't wait to see where I am when I post in 5 more years.

blue to the berry

2011-08-01T15:30:00.000-07:00

On Saturday I was in Binghamton with my Annie Bannanie. We went blueberry picking for the first time ever!! It was SO wonderful to just stop and slow down long enough to eat blueberries and raspberries (even though we weren't supposed to) right off the branches! Life the way its meant to be lived!

I had only one problem afterward....I had SO MANY blueberries! I got back to Philly and thought to myself...I always complain I can't cook/bake, so I went at it. Here is what happened when i had a lot of blueberries, a little bit of motivation and an empty house.....enjoy :)

music for my soul

2011-06-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

The Weepies have a special place in my heart. They are and will always be my go-to music. Whenever I listen to old albums I start to reminisce about college. Road trips, lazy study days, cooking in the kicthen, cleaning our entire house and bonding moments with my best friend Hales. Recently we got to go to see the Weepies in concert at World Cafe Live. We are both out of college, working full time jobs in a new city very different from Newark, and she brought her husband along. Standing one row from the stage next to all the girls making out (it was very strange) I couldn't help but think how much has changed in our lives but how much Deb and Steve still connect us and make us happy.

So now I turn on their new music and although its new, their voices bring a sort of familiarity that makes me so happy. So I sit at work and I listen to the Weepies and just smile, sing more loudly than appropriate in a work type setting and find myself in another world. It just makes me so happy.

Today I listened to "Slow Pony Home" on repeat....but some of my other favorites include All This Beauty, Be My Thrill and Simple Life.

If you like to know my heart and soul...listen to those songs. I know that is a scary invitation, but it will be worth it, I promise.

Happy Flag Day!

2011-06-14T05:42:00.000-07:00

she just really loves cats....

2011-06-10T05:34:00.001-07:00

heat wave....

2011-06-09T09:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my "late day" at work. Which means I arrive at 10:30 and leave at 7:00pm. I am used to riding my bike to work around 7:45am which is nice because the heat hasn't had time to become oppressive.

Today I rode my bike around 10:15am and I wanted to die. I will never complain about being cold again. I actually really enjoy the cold weather, and unless its bone chilling, hypothermia cant get warm cold and I have on a bathing suit...I probably won't complain about it. I will simply grab a blanket. The heat makes me want to run around naked. Which apparently is "inappropriate". I got to work and naturally, the first thing I did was look at record temp highs for Philadelphia. And what do ya know...this is what I discovered.

The best part about this is that Philly is supposed to reach 99 degrees today....breaking the record high from 1933. Congratulations Philly, my deodorant stopped working 15 degrees ago and I look like I just stepped out of the pool. I sure look attractive and my smell is out of this world.

puppy!

2011-05-12T08:17:00.000-07:00

BEST PICTURE EVER!!

today i am......

2011-04-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

...listening to Bloodstream by Stateless...over and over and over and over................

...anxious for tonight

...thinking about buying a new bike with a lil help from my friends.. (ariel)

...feeling blessed by prayer this morning with my girls

...excited about this weekend

I will wait for you.........

2011-04-20T06:11:00.001-07:00

Who done it?!

2011-04-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!! This absolutely MADE my Saturday. As I was spring cleaning the whole house the nice little post man delivered this to my doorstep. SO THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

Whoever you are :)

Keep calm...

2011-04-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

I need this somewhere in my house/room/office/life. I love this.

I read it and I have seen it in Jojos kitchen and I have always been curious about it..so I read up on it...this is what I discovered about my new favorite slogan:

Orginally made in 1939 by the British. The poster was third in a series of three. The previous two posters from the series, "Your Courage, Your Cheerfulness, Your Resolution Will Bring Us Victory" (800,000 printed) and "Freedom is in Peril" (400,000 printed) were issued and used across the country for motivational purposes, as the Ministry of Information assumed that the events of the first weeks of the war would demoralise the population. Planning for the posters started in April 1939; by June designs were prepared, and by August 1939, they were on their way to the printers, to be placed up within 24 hours of the outbreak of war. The posters were designed to have a uniform device, be a design associated with the Ministry of Information, and have a unique and recognisable lettering, with a message from the King to his people.

I just love history! Now who wants to buy me the poster?

...and we pray

2011-03-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine, Esther, sent me this email from her pastor yesterday. I read it this morning and was completely moved and aware of how much we need to pray.

I copy and pasted the email below so you could be aware of whats going on in Japan as well. It's times like these that I feel so helpless and so unaware and so...we pray.

*******************************************************************

Geoff Bradford posted a prayer entitled "How to Pray for Japan -- From Danielle (formerly Guevara)" in the group Site Group:

Danielle & Matthias sent this to me--thought I'd pass it along. She was a liberti missionary for several years in Japan...

Dearest Friends,

Matthias and I really wish we could be in Japan right now. Oh, that God will use this suffering to draw millions of Japanese to Himself! I used to live in Sendai, the city closest to the epicenter and am still waiting to hear back from church friends and former English students. I used to teach an English class 3km from the shore where the tsunami hit and donot know if the students are okay.

We didn't know if beloved missionary friends in Sendai, Cal and Edie Cummings, were okay until late last night. Their daughter wrote,"After trying every couple minutes for about 17hrs, my brother Luke was finally able to get through to my parents on their landline. They have no water, gas, or electricity, but they are alive and their house is still standing. Their whole neighborhood is fine. They live far enough inland (8mi) that they did not get any flooding." The daughter of other missionary friends in Sendai writes, "Par ents' house and possessions destroyed."

This might be a helpful list of how to pray for Japan right now. Part of it comes from a message I received it from the PCA missions group, Mission to the World.

Love and comfort for grieving families

Rescue for those who may be trapped/ buried alive

Safety from aftershocks, which have been quite large

Shelter for those whose homes are destroyed

Wisdom and clarity for response of Christians in Japan

Open doors for Christians in Japan to share the gospel

Restoration of power and communication

To give some background to the spiritual condition of the area hardest hit:

The areas affected by the earthquake and tsunamis of Miyagi, Fukushima, and Ibaraki are some of the most spiritually needy places in Japan. With over 4.9 million people yet only about 9,000 active Christians (about 0.15%). Fukushima has the lowest average worship attendance with only 19 per church. There are one city and 44 towns with no church. There are 86 missionaries assigned to these prefectures.

One town in Ibaraki has over 46,000 people with no church and several others have over 24,000 people with no churches. Average attendance for all the churches in Japan is the lowest in Fukushima prefecture. Ibaraki prefecture has the least number of people claiming to have any religious beliefs. (Sources: CIS News 12/2012, JEMA Directory 2010)

Here is a clip from my former team leader, Michael Oh:

"Over the years I've often described our mission in Japan as praying and preparing toward the day of opportunity in Japan. In the back of my mind I've often thought of the possibility of great suffering being a part of the opening of the heart of the great nation of Japan. A massive earthquake or a nuclear missile from North Korea topped the list of possible devastating ways the Lord might awaken that nation that I love. This, perhaps, could be one of the ways the Lord pierces the darkness of Japan with His light (John 1:5)

Japan is the largest unreached nation in the world. In Japan they are reporting upwards of 1100 dead so far. Again, it is very possible that that number will multiply 10 fold. But every 11 days an equal number of Japanese (1100) take their own lives. In hopelessness they turn to suicide."

Mission to the World Japan team leader, Rev. Dan Iverson adds:

1100 killed= 12 day total of suicides in Japan

To put the spiritual darkness of Japan in perspective, Japan averages about 90 suicides per day. It is so sad that already 1100 people appear to have died in the earthquake/tsunami and that is making world-wide news. It needs to also break our heart that this very rich country is really so spiritually impoverished, with so many with no hope. But if indeed 1100 are dead from the killer earthquake, we need to also remember that a normal 12 days in Japan brings about this many suicides. But it does not make CNN news.

An exciting thought is that perhaps in these days there are more prayers being prayed for Japan throughout the world than at any time in the history of the world. What purposes could God have both in this tragedy and in the active response of the Church of Jesus Christ?

So please do pray. Pray not only for the physical life and well-being of the Japanese but for their spiritual salvation. And may the prayers of Christians around the world be used not only to bring the comfort of Christ to Japan but also as a prayer tsunami to break the powerful dams of the rock-hard hearts of the Japanese.

I'm a math atheist too, Calvin

2011-03-09T06:41:00.001-08:00

Office Space

2011-03-01T20:38:00.000-08:00

So most of us spend a lot of time in our offices. As a counselor, it is really important to have a calm, welcoming, soothing environment. Since I am not a calm, welcoming or soothing person, I needed to work really hard to make my office display these characteristics. To celebrate my 8 month anniversary at PIT, I have decided to post pictures of my office space, a "then-and-now" if you will. I would like to note the lamp in the corner cannot be used because I would need a desk lamp in order to see anything in my office (if anyone has one, I will gladly take it off your hands). Also, I asked if I bought the paint if I could paint my office when I moved in. The office manager said no, but you can buy two posters and hang them up wherever you like! So really it's like the same thing.

And yes, that is a microwave on the ground under the double trash cans.

Tomorrow I'll take pictures of Tim's office and you can compare and contrast the two very different counseling environments :) Enjoy.

Phat Tuesday

2011-03-01T06:57:00.000-08:00

I'll be there. So should you.

Six cavities, maybe seven

2011-02-03T08:12:00.000-08:00

Went to the dentist this morning for the first time in nearly 3 years. This is because for 3 years I didn't have dental insurance. I have never been scared of the dentist...even with the run-in with Dr. Quinn when I was about 6 (traumatic). Whenever I get cleanings, I'm in and out, fast as lightening, I wear my free sticker with pride with my head held high. But not today. My dentist pretty much slapped my with her drill, made me cry and declared I had 6 maybe 7 cavities to the 3 dental assistants sitting around watching...it was awful, I walked out stickerless with my head down.

I will leave you with this quote from my devotional this morning..
"When all is said and done, the life of faith is nothing if not an unending struggle of the spirit with every available weapon against the flesh." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Sexual Violence in the Peace Corps

2011-01-26T15:45:00.000-08:00

Having more than one close tie to the peace corp, this shook me to the bones...more people need to know.

Sexual Violence in the Peace Corps

2011-01-25T20:43:00.000-08:00

Every day I get one step closer to starting to write the book that will change your life.

I just don't know where to begin....but I know God won't kill me off until I finish it. So the longer I put it off the longer i live!! or something like that

Beauty Queen

2011-01-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

My friend Kayla, competed in the Miss America pagent this past weekend. I went to high school with Kayla and there has been all sorts of buzz about the fact that she's bald...I found this video of her on 20/20 and HAD to share it because I think Kayla shares a great message and because 20/20 is my favorite!!!

Congrats on making it as far as you did Kayla!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6WQGrmPiOM

perspectives

2011-01-14T06:15:00.000-08:00

I have been having dinner with people I don't normally see this week. I think when you don't see someone for a long time you realize that when you see each other your conversation should be rich and deep because you don't know when you will see each other again; and because so much has happened since the last time you saw that person.

I like seeing old friends because it reminds me of how much God has been working in my life and in others, of how much I have changed and how many things in my life have changed; some good, some bad. I love eating good food and listening to a person talk about their life from their perspective, it is honestly one of my favorite things.

This week while I was participating in my favorite activity of eating and talking, a friend said something that has really stuck with me all week.. "you can't follow a Christian who follows Christ, you have to just follow Christ" While you should learn from other Christians, follow their years of wisdom and education, following them or pouring over every single word their say or write is dangerous. Because, to put it bluntly, they will be wrong at some point, you need to learn what your faith is. You need to know what the Bible says.

I'm learning this. Many times I don't want to do the hard work. I don't want to research, I don't want to read multiple sources, I don't want to read Leviticus. But I have to, but I need to know what Christ says, not what Tim Keller or Francis Chan or Matt Chandler say about Christ. I need to be grounded in Him first and grow from other perspectives after.

ryan adams on repeat

2011-01-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

Ryan Adams melts my heart. Really and truly. I have been listening to him on repeat this week and there are two songs I'm obsessing over...Two and Desire.

Here are some excerpts from my new obsessions...

"TWO"
And i'm fractured from the fall
And i wanna go home
But it takes two when it used to take one
It takes two when it used to take only one

"DESIRE"
You know me. You don't mind waiting.
You just can't show me, but God I'm praying,
That you'll find me, and that you'll see me
That you run and never tire.
Desire

If I had Ryan Adams and Deb Talan singing me to sleep every night for the rest of my life I could die a happy person.

Merry Christmas

2010-12-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

2010-12-09T15:09:00.001-08:00

i know its long, but so impressive!!!!

BIG BANG BIG BOOM - the new wall-painted animation by BLU from blu on Vimeo.

(thats what she said?)

its cold out. wear a coat!

2010-12-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

December 21 marks the first day of winter. So I would like to know why when I woke up this morning, on December 8, the temperature on the ever so accurate weather.com read "27 degrees". I have been holding off getting my winter coat out until it was officially winter but this is getting ridiculous. I'm cold. I had to do it. This morning I went in my basement and found my winter coat. It's AMAZING how much warmer I was in a winter coat....and my red and white mittens of course.

I do love this time of year because of the season (see below post) but also to see the kind of bundling people come up with! It's amazing to see the kind of lengths people will go to to stay warm..its always funny to watch a grown person waddling due to excessive layers.

For now, I leave you with the best video I have seen in a while. Mainly because it reminds me of when my friends and I go out to Plough and Stars...two of the people are literally doing the same move that I thought Sarah Pisano created...how wrong was i?!

hello, december.

2010-12-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

December first. It means it is officially Christmas season. And I get to officially begin my advent calendar. My favorite. I love this season. I love the weather and how festive everyone feels and how people gather for holiday parties and exchange gifts and food and spend time together. People sing and dance and spike the egg nog. Really, whats not to love scrooge? Just to show my cheer, I'll show you a picture of my Dad and I in front of a 21 foot Christmas tree made of oreos....whats not to love about this holiday?!

Tonight I cannot get these lyrics out of my head....awake my soul by Mumford & Sons...I think everyones soul needs to be awaken. This is a joyous time. A King is born.

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul

pray.

2010-11-26T22:54:00.000-08:00

My very wise sister, Anne, sent this quote to me last week. We have been discussing prayer at length in my church and bible study so I thought it would be fitting to share it with everyone else too..

"God rules the world in constant consultation with those who pray, God determinations are wrought in dialogue with those who call for help, God is free to rule unbounded by the humanly inferred laws of finite nature and free to rule in spontaneous dialogue with us. Prayer, thus is unfathomable Powerful, yet it also places an enormous obligation upon us to pray constantly for the needs of the world. Also remember there is no way to put God to the test, and that's exactly what you are doing when you design a study to see if God's answers prayers. In terms of free will, I believe God gives us free will to choose salvation or not, God does know the outcomes however he does not allow Godself to intervene for the sake of free will. God is omnipotent and all powerful. So in actuality Christianity is not a contradiction but rather an invitation to the Kingdom of God after death, and prayer is how request God to react in this sinful world. Amen!"

-Goetz, Christian Century

Teach me how to dougie

2010-11-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

In the past, I have been known to inmitate two things well. A snail named Fred and a man named Carlton. Believe it or not, I can actually do "the carlton". Today I saw this video and it reminded me how much I 1. love the fresh prince show, 2. how much I love new dance crazes...they are so ridiculous and 3. how much this song gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME.

2010-11-04T13:40:00.001-07:00

Kiss from a Rose

2010-10-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

The year is 1995. The movie Batman Forever is released and the song "Kiss from a Rose" is re released and topped the charts for a whopping seven days. Everytime that song came on VH1 or MTV back in the days of music videos, my siblings and I would dance around and sing at the top of our lungs while dramatically acting like Batman and Robin fighting evil and winning the girl.

I was 10. I listened to the song on repeat and I sang the words I thought Seal was singing. And I sang them with authority and confidence. I had no idea what he was talking about though. Kiss from a rose on a grave? What? I decided this was due to the fact that I was 10 and didn't know much of anything.

I was driving home from Lebanon on Sunday morning trying to find something on the radio to keep me from drifting off to sleep behind the wheel when Kiss from a Rose started playing on a random Central PA radio station. I of course blasted Seal and sang at the top of my lungs...picture it. I stopped midway through the song and thought...okay, this came out 15 years ago, I am now 25 and I still don't get why Seal is talking about Kissing roses on graves.

Now if you know me, you know I am notorious for making up words to songs and singing them confidently (please see Ellen DeGeneres's stand-up: Here and Now for the funniest reference to this ever...and while you're at it, just watch the whole thing because its the best http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=ellen+degeneres+here+and+now&aq=f). Well today I was thinking about that song and I thought, I'm going to look up the lyrics for the first time ever. And to my surprise I have been singing them wrong for the last 15 years!!! Now I get it...

Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.
Ooh, the more I get of you,
The stranger it feels, yeah.
And now that your rose is in bloom.
A light hits the gloom on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say.
You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain, baby

....oh wait. nope, still confused.

its your love that helps me get by

2010-09-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

I know this is a week late, but I was just thinking about how this time last year I was so blessed to be in one of my best friend's weddings..Here's the awesome video of Haley and Jason's awesome block party wedding. Love you harmons happy one year!!

Jason & Haley from Michael Schwartz on Vimeo.

the belly button song

2010-09-29T12:23:00.000-07:00

AHH THANK YOU ANDREA SWATSKI for sharing this with me!
If you have known me for longer than 5 months you have probably heard me sing "the" belly button song....
"me take care of me belly button" I will sing it for you if you ask, its my favorite song ever. But for now I need you all to watch the veggie tales version of a different belly button song.

The bright side to working in a cave

2010-09-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

When you are grumpy, there is always the option to look on the bright side. When you are annoyed, you can always look on the bright side. When you are frustrated by your current employment, you can always look on the bright side. The problem remains...finding the brightside.

Today I found the brightside to working in a window-less office. Let me preface this by stating I love being outside, whether its raining or sunny, hot or snowing I prefer being outside (give or take some days when all I want to do is cuddle up and watch a movie - but who doesn't have those days??). So when I walked in to my office for the first time, the first thing I noticed was the extreme lack of windows. Not only was I inside, I was highly aware of how "inside" in I was. There are days when I come in and do not see the sun until 4:30 when I leave. When I work from 1:30-10pm it's worse because when I come to work its bright and sunny and when I leave its dark! I don't know if it raining, sunny, cloudy or snowing. I know nothing of the outside world other than what weather.com tells me, and we all know how accurate weather.com is. And Lord knows I'll never listen to accuweather again (storm of the century cancels vermont ski trip 2010 when there was absolutely no storm at all).

Today I found my brightside.

I emailed my friend Michele this morning and said "good morning, is it a good morning so far?" and her response was "Eh, morning could be better if it were a bit 'cheerier' looking outside :/ How am I supposed to work when it's the perfect weather to have stayed in bed all day??!" I read this e-mail and checked my work e-mail and received this from the librarian, bold letters and all:
A TORNADO WATCH REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 600 PM EDT TUESDAY EVENING

FOR NEW JERSEY AND EASTERN PENNSYLVANIA.

This is when it hit me. The weather has no effect on my productivity at work! I have NO idea whats going on outside! So when its beautiful and sunny, I don't want to go outside. When it's gloomy and raining with the chance of a tornado, I don't want to get into bed. I am quite content, sitting here in my office working with students.

I found the brightside to my windowless room full of pictures of my friends and families and picasso and gustav klimt paintings. And also when the end of the world comes, I won't have time to panic.

Can Will Smith adopt me?

2010-09-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite actors of all time is Will Smith. He and his wife, Jada, have managed to create the coolest kids on earth. If I could choose, I'd want him to be my dad so that I could be as cool as these kids...

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/crush/jaden-and-willow-smiths-red-carpet-style/397

his son can karate kick my butt and his NINE year old daughter just came out with her first hit single! what?!

Tara and Joseph are ENGAGED!

2010-09-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

I was so happy and excited and thrilled to be part of these two getting engaged. Joseph did an amazing job including the community that has helped keep them accountable and seeking God before themselves these past couple years. He did an amazing job rapping as well. And a big thanks to Honey's for letting us invade for 10 minutes!! Such a great, memorable evening.

I want this video to be the next youtube phenomenon. Let's get these two on Oprah.

Psalm 32

2010-08-31T07:44:00.000-07:00

Read this before work. Re read it while at work. Praying it to get through my crazy day.

1 Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.
2 Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.
3 When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.
Selah
5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD "—and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Selah
6 Therefore let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
7 You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Selah
8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.
9 Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle
or they will not come to you.
10 Many are the woes of the wicked, but the LORD's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him.
11 Rejoice in the LORD and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!

Boys who can shave

2010-08-31T05:31:00.000-07:00

Esther sent me this article to read this morning.
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/panelists/mark_driscoll/2010/08/the_world_is_filled_with_boys_who_can_shave.html

It is in a response to an article I actually read last week here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/22/magazine/22Adulthood-t.html?_r=1

Brut honesty. I like it. And the guys can't even get mad saying the author just hates men, he is a man. He is a Godly man. Thoughts??

Wednesday night.

2010-08-25T23:08:00.000-07:00

Tonight was interesting.

The "plan" was to go to the last "nights in the park" for Liberti

And then Sarah T,

and I were going to go to my new house and put up blackout curtains so that I could sleep past 6am. I told Sarah this would probably only take up 20 minutes of her time. This was at around 8:30p. However, we had no idea what we were in for. I think both of our personalities are impulsive do-er type personalities. We just do. But what we do not do is....we do not take time to measure or get ladders or get packs of 12 nails (I bought the 10 pack, we needed 12 nails). Instead, we go headstrong into what we think will be a victorious task. When we succeed at things, we succeed BIG and when we jump in and things don't work out...we fail, badly. Tonight was one of those nights. two hours and two bowls of ice cream later we ended up with a curtain too short, and two curtains that (I kid you not) are TACKED up to the corners. Tacked with thumb tacks tacked...this task took up approximately 2 minutes, could have saved us so much time.

After this, we decided it was probably a good time to actually start talking and praying like we had planned....I asked if it was okay if I started working on the new earring/necklace rack I got on etsy! I was so excited. Little did she know that she would be sucked into helping me with that as well...we did not think this through either. We put on all the earrings as we sat and talked and Sarah looked at me and said, you know, we needed to put this up on the wall before we put the earrings on. This may not seem like a big deal to you, but you must know how many earrings I have....please see below...

Needless to say Sarah did not leave until after midnight. Thanks Sarah :)

As we talked and prayed in between losing our minds and banging our heads against the walls. We discussed our bible study from last night about Eternity and Heaven. This topic has been frequenting my mind because of recently finishing "the shack" This book totally rocked my world and put a new perspective on my thoughts and challenged my old thoughts and gave me new thoughts to mull over and really think about. There was one part at the end that the Holy Spirit tells the main character, Mack.

"...if anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again."

I am not normally into cheesy, corny, cliche? Maybe it was because this was at the end after I had spent an emotional night finishing the book and investing in the characters (the characters being God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit). It made me want to ask God questions! But more than that it made me appreciate understanding how the Trinity works in my life and how important it is in everything that I do, everything I do matters because the Kingdom is now and not yet.

So you think you can dance?

2010-08-17T14:25:00.001-07:00

When you spend more than half your life dancing....you just can't shake it out of your system. In fact, more often than not, I am dancing. So I am spending my sick day in bed watching so you think you can dance in between naps.

The two posts below are my two FAVORITE. Beautiful breathtaking contemporary duets. If I could perform again, I would do these two dances.

Robert & Kathryn.mp4

2010-08-17T14:23:00.000-07:00

Kent & Loren - Collide

2010-08-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

2010-08-16T12:58:00.000-07:00

Your Available Balance: $2.12

Ahh the pleasures and joys of being an adult.

Milas day dreams

2010-08-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

The most creative idea ever.......

http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/

Here are some of my favorites....

2010-08-11T05:59:00.001-07:00

Saw this on the news this morning...

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=7603566

Makes my heart hurt for those men who thought they were getting their lives together.

they say...

2010-08-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

They say old habits die hard...and in my ripe old age of 24, I am beginning to think whoever said that was on to something. As sinful, stupid humans we will never be perfect, we will never always make the right choice 100% of the time, and we will always be learning and growing from our mistakes, hopefully leaning towards maturity and growth (this comes easier to some than for others). But is is easy to read the words "humans are sinful and not perfect" and think, I deserve grace from others, no one is perfect. But today I realized how much I expect grace from others for my shortcomings but will be quick to notice a flaw in you. During lunch today, a friend and I talked about how the things that bother you most about other people are most likely what you hate about yourself. So I began to rack my brain to think about who annoys me and why. This is not a fun exercise. And while I think it is good and necessary to evaluate the speck in others/plank in your own eye philosophy, be prepared for being disappointed in yourself. I know I was.

Thank God for grace, literally.

blessings

2010-07-05T20:37:00.000-07:00

I haven't written on this for a while...mostly because I have been busy graduating and getting a j-o-b.
But I was inspired by Haley's blog because it is just so beautiful. Full of life, pictures, and accounts of blessings in her life. I realized that I need to count my blessings way more than I do because I get caught up in the little things and sometimes it really weighs me down. I forget how blessed I am and how much JOY I have and should be passing around!! I am so thankful for my amazing friends, who when they see the obvious look of distress or torment on my face, they ask me whats wrong. Not just an obligatory "whats wrong" but a compassionate "i care about you and your life and the things that twist your heart and make your stomach turn, its those things that I care about because they are you and I care about you". I have those kind of friends. I have that kind of community. i have the kind of community that says hey I want you to live better, not because i'm judging you or i want our community too look better and more inviting, but because they care about me and know i can live a life that doesn't cause myself so much pain and anguish tomorrow when I'm not thinking about my actions today. I have that kind of community.
You may be jealous or covet my friends and my community, but don't be. Just come hang out with me and I promise you will leave feeling the same way. Showered with love and compassionate mercy and grace.

I re-read a prayer tonight by ted loder...one of the sections really pierced me...

"expose my shame where it shivers
crouched behind the curtains of propriety
until i can laugh at last
through my common frailties and failures
laugh my way toward becoming whole"

I'll type up the whole prayer eventually...its really beautiful. but for now sit on that. think about it and count your blessings.

Kidney swap...

2010-06-15T18:53:00.001-07:00

"Barbara" is my aunt! So awesome

Watch CBS News Videos Online

everyone settle down

2010-06-10T07:12:00.001-07:00

Cold Tangerines

2010-06-08T06:51:00.000-07:00

Reading a book called Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. It's about celebrating your life and appreciating today and learning from your mistakes.
I love everything about it so far, including the fact that the name on the outside of her book is printed in all lower case letters...this may seem insignificant to some, but makes me feel connected to her because i really like lower case letters.

I am so inspired to write a book of my own after reading hers. However, she is full of wit and great stories with "learning" always coming at the end. One day I'll write.............

2010-05-30T20:27:00.000-07:00

Just got on weather dot com to check the ol weather for memorial day and saw this...

Air Quality Alert for Philadelphia, PA

Issued by The National Weather ServicePhiladelphia, PA 3:13 pm EDT, Sun., May. 30, 2010

... AIR QUALITY ALERT IN EFFECT FROM 9 AM TO 10 PM EDT MONDAY...

THE PENNSYLVANIA DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION HAS DECLARED AN AIR QUALITY ACTION DAY FOR THE REGION... IN EFFECT FROM 9 AM TO 10 PM EDT MONDAY.

AN AIR QUALITY ACTION DAY MEANS THAT AIR QUALITY WITHIN THE REGION MAY APPROACH OR EXCEED UNHEALTHY STANDARDS.

i'm sorry...should i be concerned for my life while breathing tomorrow?

They're so famous

2010-05-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Here I am with ol Joshy before he was famous.

and one day this famous one will admit she loves me.

But until then I guess I'll just be stuck in the middle of their love...

I don't wanna grow up

2010-05-24T20:14:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I got away.
I went camping with some FABULOUS ladies to my favorite state park (Cape henlopen). I told all the girls way too much and talked basically the whole time about my previous memories and experiences and they put up with me and my rambling the whole weekend. There is just something about revisiting your past, especially your childhood, that makes you happy. When I was leaving class tonight, I parked my car by an extremely large amount of honey suckles...this was a scent and a view that I associate, yet again, with my childhood.
I had a great childhood and things were so much simpler then. I could be loud and obnoxious and people thought it was cute (and just a phase I would grow out of..ha ha). I never had to worry about food, because my Mom took care of it for me. I didn't have to pay bills or read the news to figure out how things would effect me.
But as I grow up I am learning to appreciate things like being independent and taking weekends away with my girlfriends. I get to eat the food I want and make decisions about where I want to live and what time I want to go to sleep. I loved my childhood, but I'm learning to appreciate my adulthood too.
Here are some highlights from the weekend of wonderful. Love, Emily, Izzy, Natalie, Diana, Tessa, and Maggie

2010-05-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Sometimes tragic life events happen to your friends that help put your own life into perspective.

I had a really bittersweet weekend with some pretty quality friends that made me realize just that. I am taking the night to count my blessings and think through the stressors in my life and letting go of the ones that really just don't matter.

I'm listening to Ryan Adams on repeat.

I am finding solace in being alone and the silence between the songs.

I am trusting and taking comfort that I am not in control. There is a gravity to this that I do not think that we, as "young people", think about. We are not immortal. We are not invincible.

Soliders go Gaga

2010-05-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

I want to be these guys friends....

See story here (although there is not much of a story)

2010-05-04T20:12:00.001-07:00

I am hiding from some beast
But the beast was always here
Watching without eyes
Because the beast is just my fear
That I am just nothing
Now its just what I've become
What am I waiting for
Its already done

Believe - The Bravery

Tik Tok

2010-05-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

Anyone who really knows me know that when this song comes on at any party or on the radio I am in a good mood and singing every word...very, very loudly. So when Pauline showed me this video...I had to post it on here to let other people join in on the awesomeness of the song...and who doesn't love the simpsons???

Donald Miller Isn't

2010-04-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with Donald Miller...and I'm not quite sure who these guys are but they are pretty funny too.

www.donaldmillerisnt.com

take me out to the ballgame...

2010-04-21T14:34:00.001-07:00

Allison Auclair is my favorite classmate :) Look how she distracts me during class

2010-04-20T08:04:00.001-07:00

"I start wondering what it must be like to live in the shadow of a mountain. All of Houston lives in the shadow of downtown. Downtown is how we orient ourselves. It stands as our compass, a mountain of glass and mirrors. It strikes me as I think about it, how beautiful we find massive structures, either man-made or organic. I wonder if we find them amazing because they make us feel small and insignificant, because they humble us. And I remember feeling that way back in Colorado, that I was not the center of the cosmos, that there were greater things, larger things, massive structures, forged in the muscle of earth and time, pressing up into the heavens as if to say the story is not about you, but for you, as if to remind us we are not gods."
Through Painted Deserts

God make me a bird

2010-04-04T19:21:00.000-07:00

I found this video on Katie Fet's wall with love from Anders and I just had to post it. I just love birds...I recently decided this design I want for my third tattoo and it involves a bird, once again. I really don't think you can go wrong with birds....
Here is the video involving my favorite animal and the freedom and beauty they represent

Hammock - Breathturn from David Altobelli on Vimeo.

In other news...Jenny and David are now husband and wife. They wedding was beautiful and the trip up to Champion was great and refreshing. Bob Davis officiated the wedding and his advice to the newly weds was simply 4 words: Prayer/Communication/Scripture/Council

And the most exciting news of all......the PRAXIS is OVER and i PASSED!!! Maybe not with flying colors...but I don't really care...
One more month of these classes and two online courses left until I am a certified school counselor....

HAPPY EASTER ya'll...heres my fam at Easter dinner...you can't tell but literally, we are all wearing pink...

i love this holiday and everything it represents...........
............Life.Beauty.Freedom.Truth.

music and lyrics

2010-03-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

Lyrics make me emotional. Not always in a bad way but in a way I can't explain. Music and lyrics remind of certain times in my life, certain locations and people and it makes me really happy and sometimes really desperately sad.

I also think lyrics express things words simply cannot convey. Its beautiful. Music has gotten me through some of the hardest times in my life. I think people sing about things they can't talk about and I think in a small way, that's why if you ask just about anyone who cannot hold a tune, if there is one thing they want to change about themselves, it would be that they wish they could sing..This is why we like singers like David Bazan, because he sings about being confused. He sings about wanting answers, its like he is singing our hearts tune.

On another note, music makes us so happy. My roommate, Joanna, always talks about this Bruce Springstein song: Waiting on a sunny day. Every time it comes on she starts dancing, she always says "this song makes me SO happy" no matter what mood she may have been in before. This is also true for the JACK ladies and the Party in the USA song as well as Tik Tok. Both dumb songs, but have the ability to make us forget everything else going on around us...

This weekend two of my friends, Sarah Thompson and Stephen Dahmer (aka Brown Bird, Blonde Bird),

sang a song by someone...I'm not sure who sings it for real. But listening to their voices and hearing the words pierced my heart so much that I cannot get the words out of my head...here are the words

There's this part of me that could just walk away
and I'm not sure that I never will
Cuz' no man is an arrow
Straight and true to the mark
We've all got these wandering feet
and a darkness in our hearts

to echo this sentiment even more BB/BB sang another song by Pedro the Lion called The fleecing and the lyrics were:
But I can't say it like I sing it.
And I can't sing it like I think it.
And I can't think it like I feel it.
And I don't feel a thing.
Oh no - I don't feel a thing.

All of these thoughts were magnified by the fact that I saw David Bazan a week ago, ironically, he played in a church. The words he sang are so honest. I think part of me can relate to him and to his struggle and doubt. I think in some small way we all can. This is why I cannot stand cheesy worship music. It doesn't feel real. And my God could not feel anymore real to me. He is so close and so real, the silly cheesy worship music that is sometimes produced seems like an insult.

I just love music and everything it conveys.

handsome man club

2010-03-10T19:48:00.001-08:00

click watch and laugh. i love jimmy kimmel

http://www.hulu.com/watch/133041/jimmy-kimmel-live-handsome-mens-club

2010-03-09T15:07:00.000-08:00

Today I hate grad school. And I am aware of how much I complained about it...all day long. While it was 60 degrees and sunny out, I sat and wrote paper, worked on projects, and read a silly book. come on june 23....

(all following posts will probably read this way until June 23, if you do not want to continue to read how much I loathe grad school, please join me again on June 23 when I will no longer need to vent about it.)

Colorado this weekend. :)

to tattoo or not to tattoo

2010-02-22T21:04:00.000-08:00

So I want a third tattoo....really badly. Thoughts? Opinions? Where should I get it? I already know what I want but I am just not sold on placement and if I should even really do it or not.....Here is a picture of my second one ..sorry if anyone is grossed out by feet...and I don't have a picture of my first, but its on my back.

The adventures of Hairolyn

2010-02-18T20:43:00.000-08:00

This post is dedicated strictly to Tom Gorman...who gave me the nickname "Hairolyn"
He did this because I like to change my hair....a lot. I like to have options. Cut, color, style, up, down, curly, straight, long, short.....It is really like a disease. And I can't stop. Because of my most recent cut, I realized I REALLY do have a problem.....And so, I want you to join me in the adventures of hairolyn over of the past year......
Well this is a little before this year...but this is where it all started.

Up, Natural color

Down, curly, no bangs. natural color

Down, curly, bangs

Pigtails

Long, straight, curling ironed

Natural color, long, curly, bangs

Black, straight, shoulder length

Black, curly, bangs

Black, straight, side bangs

Black, straight, curling ironed

Long, highlighted, straight, no bangs

Long, Straight, curling ironed, blonde highlights, side bangs

Up, blonde highlights, excited

Long, curly, blonde highlights, side bangs

pin up

BLONDE! up

blonde, front bangs

Red, front bangs, straight, long

Reddish, bangs, fancy hair

fake hair

Miley Cyrus hair

Hiking hair

Short, red, bangs, curly

Camping, unshowered for days hair

Holiday hair, shoulder length, bangs, curly

Shoulder length, brown hair, straight

Long, curly, highlights, straight bangs

Straight, blondish

Short, dark hair, curly

AND my latest hair cut......so so so short..this picture doesnt really do it justice.

So now....after experiencing a year in the life of Carolyn's hair.....which is your favorite look?

countdowns and such

2010-02-18T07:57:00.000-08:00

So to go to graduate school at Eastern you have to have two math prereqs...I only had one so I began my fun online math class in August of 2009. I had 9 months to complete it. I didn't start it until December 2009. But today, my friends....today I FINISHED IT!!! I am one step closer to graduation. And I still hate math.

A couple weeks ago I passed my Praxis II test with a much higher score than I was anticipating..now all that stands in the way of walking at graduation is my Praxis I and finishing up these classes/internship....79 days. Could be worse :)

8 days until Vermont
22 days until Colorado

2010-02-17T19:15:00.001-08:00

soooooooooooooo good

African Dance

2010-02-12T08:13:00.000-08:00

Esther showed me this on facebook...and its amazing

2010 WINTER OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONIES TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED!

Tebow's controversy

2010-02-07T09:55:00.000-08:00

Read this...and please share your thoughts...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/01/AR2010020102067.html

The Oreo Personality Test; I'm a 5.

2010-02-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

Go ahead, grab an oreo. And eat it like you would on any normal day. But think about it this time. How do you eat it? I eat it the number 5 way. Now scroll down and see what this says about me...............

Psychologists have discovered that the manner in which people eat Oreo cookies provides great insight into their personalities. Choose which method best describes your favorite method of eating Oreos:

1. The whole thing all at once.
2. One bite at a time
3. Slow and methodical nibbles examining the results of each bite afterwards.
4. In little feverous nibbles.
5. Dunked in some liquid (milk, coffee...).
6. Twisted apart, the inside, then the cookie.
7. Twisted apart, the inside, and toss the cookie.
8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
9. I just like to lick them, not eat them.
10. I don't have a favorite way because I don't like Oreo.

Your Personality:

1. The whole thing.
This means you consume life with abandon, you are fun to be with, exciting, carefree with some hint of recklessness. You are totally irresponsible. No one should trust you with their children.

2. One bite at a time.
You are lucky to be one of the 5.4 billion other people who eat their Oreos this very same way. Just like them, you lack imagination, but that's okay, not to worry, you're normal.

3. Slow and Methodical.
You follow the rules. You're very tidy and orderly. You're very meticulous in every detail with every thing you do to the point of being anal retentive and irritating to others. Stay out of the fast lane if you're only going to go the speed limit.

4. Feverous Nibbles.
Your boss likes you because you get your work done quickly. You always have a million things to do and never enough time to do them. Mental breakdowns and suicides run in your family. Valium and Ritalin would do you good.

5. Dunked.
Every one likes you because you are always up beat. You like to sugar coat unpleasant experiences and rationalize bad situations into good ones. You are in total denial about the shambles you call a life. You have a propensity towards narcotic addiction.

6. Twisted apart, the inside, and then the cookie.
You have a highly curious nature. You take pleasure in breaking things apart to find out how they work, though not always able to put them back together, so you destroy all the evidence of your activities. You deny your involvement when things go wrong. You are a compulsive liar and exhibit deviant, if not criminal, behavior.

7. Twisted apart, the inside, and then toss the cookie.
You are good at business and take risk that pay off. You take what you want and throw the rest away. You are greedy, selfish, mean, and lack feelings for others. You should be ashamed of yourself. But that's ok, you don't care, you got yours.

8. Just the cookie, not the inside.
You enjoy pain.

9. I just like to lick them, not eat them
Stay away from small furry animals and seek professional medical help - immediately.

10. I don't have a favorite way, I don't like Oreo cookies.
You probably come from a rich family, and like to wear nice things, and go to up-scale restaurants. You are particular and fussy about the things you buy, own, and wear. Things have to be just right. You like to be pampered. You are a prima donna. There's just no pleasing you.

lyrics on my mind

2010-02-02T17:22:00.000-08:00

Currently loving these lyrics by Jose Gonzalez

Hand On Your Heart - José Gonz...

Well it's one thing to fall in love
But another to make it last
I thought that we were just beginning
And now you say we're in the past
Look me in the eye
and tell me we are really through

You know it's one thing to say you love me
but another to mean it from the heart
And if you don't intend to see it through
why did we ever start?
I wanna hear you tell me
you don't want my love

Put your hand on your heart and tell me
it's all over
I won't believe it till you
put your hand on your heart and tell me
that we're through
Put your hand on your heart

They like to talk about for ever
Most people never get the chance
Do you wanna lose our love together
Do you find a new romance
I wanna hear you tell me
you don't want my love

But I don't know how much I can say about good lyrics because I am obsessed with the creativity and how clever Lil'Wayne's song "bedrock" is...I mean come on just READ these lyrics...genius :)

She Got That Good Good,
She Michael Jackson Bad,
I'm Attracted To Her, For Her Attractive Ass,
And Now We Murderers, Because We Killed Time,
I Knock Her Lights Out, And She Still Shine,
I Hate To See Her Go, But I Love To Watch Her Leave
But I Keep Her Running Back And Forth
Soccer Team
Cold As A Winter Day,
Hot As A Summer's Eve,
Young Money Thieves
Steal Your Love And Leave

I Like The Way You Walkin, If You Walking My Way,
I'm That Red Bull, Now Let's Fly Away,
Let's Buy A Place, With All Kind Of Space,
I Let You Be The Judge, N-N And I'm The Case,
I'm Gudda Gudda,
I Put Her Under,
I See Me With Her, No Stevie Wonder,
She Don't Even Wonder, Cuz She Know She Bad,
And I Got Her
Grocery Bag.

I Be Stuck To You,
Like Glue Baby,
Wanna Spend It All On You,
Baby,
My Room Is The G Spot,
Call Me Mr. Flintstone,
I Can Make Your Bed Rock

Groupon?

2010-02-02T03:46:00.000-08:00

http://www.groupon.com/r/uu926501

i <3 groupons...and so should you!

I signed up for this a couple months ago and never used it...but I have a weakness and it is chocolate covered strawberries...so when i saw this one..I could not pass it up. If you sign up, and refer me I will be very excited.

Jessica Cohen copy

2010-01-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

So this weekend, JessCo is coming to Philly all the way from Georgia... She is coming even though I forget to call her back, don't send her thank you notes, and am an all around poor friend. She is amazing and loves me regardless. This is because we were roommates, and when you are roommates you see every side you can to a person..and you choose to love them anyways. I could not be MORE EXCITED about her coming to see my city this weekend!!!!!

friday ramblings

2010-01-22T08:56:00.000-08:00

Reading about multicultural counseling I read this Asian saying...
All individuals, in many respects, are like no other individual, like some individuals, and like all other individuals.

...think about it..

Saw Avatar on IMAX 3D last night...AMAZING!!!!! I recommend it to everyone...it will change your life...seeing two giant blue creatures getting it on and kicking some ass.

Weight Watchers day 17....I'm watching my weight..stay exactly where it was when i started. I don't think thats what is supposed to happen.

Josh's golden birthday tonight...22 on the 22nd..we're going out on the town and wearing all our gold. I don't own any real gold so i will probably paint my face and spray paint my hair all gold. i cannot wait to cut a rug with my gold hair.

still unemployed.

still broke.

I graduate in...
106 days
Or 3 months, 16 days
Or 9,158,400 seconds
Or 152,640 minutes
Or 2544 hours
Or 15 weeks
....but who is counting?

Beat for Peace

2010-01-19T20:26:00.000-08:00

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/11/sudan365-musicians-team-u_n_418684.html

2010-01-16T07:53:00.001-08:00

How much of what happens to you is through positive thinking?

its 46 degrees...I'm going outside while I can.

2010

2010-01-04T15:19:00.000-08:00

My resolution for this year is to text less and call more. I have become a huge texter, mostly because i don't like talking on the phone. But sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same....

I'm also going to be healthier, mostly because I'll GRADUATE from grad school this year and I'll have more time to be healthier :)

For now I will leave you with this awesome video coupled with an awesome song...

crossing the street

2009-12-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

This morning I woke up early before breakfast and I went for a run. It was hard to get out of bed...but I did it and I feel better for it. I ran around Philly and soaked in the crisp air that felt more like an early fall morning than an early December morning. I ran for a little under an hour and ran some errands and even stopped into Good Karma on the way home for a small cup of coffee and a friendly good morning from some of my favorite baristas. Holding a cup of coffee, I decided to make this the obvious end to my run. I walked back to my house, coffee in hand, podcast playing when I looked up and saw two small children about a half block in front of me.
I watched them as they started to sprint in front of me. Both about 6 years old. The girl in a bright pink backpack that flopped up and down when she ran, and gigantic purple coat. The boy wore mostly black and navy blue. They ran together, chasing each other and completely unaware of those around them. I watched as they ran one block, then two, never stopping to check the street lights or car patterns, unsupervised and without a care. As they crossed the second street block, without so much as a pause they crossed the next where the light was not red. I audibly screamed, although I was now three blocks away and walking by myself. They were safe across the street and I kept thinking...where are their parents? Why are they walking by themselves? I was upset and angry..but there was nothing I could do, right? It is so hard to feel helpless and yet passionate to help or do something. But again, what do you do? You watch as they cross the street, and then the next with no parents and no one to tell them to stop and look both ways before they take the great sprint across. Sometimes I wonder if this is a beginning pattern for the rest of their lives.

happy thanksgiving

2009-11-28T08:59:00.000-08:00

On thanksgiving night at exactly 6:11pm, the US space shuttle flew over our heads in Castle Rock, CO. 8 of us stood outside watching that most amazing sight ever. A dot. There were two simple specks of light moving so extremly fast, but as we looked up we learned from Tom that those specks of light were flying at 17,000 mph...They were as small as stars. It was the most incredible thing I have ever seen.

The next day we saw another extraordinary thing...the mountains :) It was the most glorious day ever..perfect conditions. I love this state so much. It makes me happy to see God in so much here

And the word is.........

2009-11-22T20:32:00.001-08:00

Well the time has come folks. Oxford has announced their new word of the year. Every year, the New Oxford Dictionary initiates one new word into the big book of words. This years word is................UNFRIEND. As In, please do not unfriend me. Ironically, there is still that little red line under the word "unfriend" no matter how many times I type it..unfriend unfriend unfriend. all read lined. someone should tell the computers "unfriend" is now a word. One day Quinterpecan will be one too.
http://blog.oup.com/2009/11/unfriend/
I kid you not. Today at church, Jared somehow worked it into his sermon and it was awesome.

Colorado tomorrow. I could not be happier or more not yet packed :)

2009-11-15T20:15:00.001-08:00

i.am.slowly.losing.my.mind.because.i.strongly.dislike.school.

i know..I'll go to colorado in a week.

done and done.

happy holidays from JACK

2009-11-10T12:01:00.001-08:00

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/6RIN2525dOA5Fzkz

sugalumps

2009-11-03T13:05:00.000-08:00

I am OBSESSED with flight of the conchords....and this is why.

This weekend i...

2009-11-02T09:06:00.000-08:00

..watched babies get baptised and was overwhelmed with emotion
..became an officialy member of Libeti or went "in covenant"
..became Cindy Lauper

..but broke it down like Beyonce

..said HI to Dano

..watched the Phillies lose...twice.
..started hating Johnny Damon (sorry Sarah..)
..and found a new anthem to help them WIN TONIGHT.

the phillie wedding crasher

2009-10-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

I know her...how cool is that?!

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/video?id=7084581

WINTER STORM ALERT

2009-10-28T15:21:00.000-07:00

10.28.09 — A powerful winter storm is hitting Colorado with a winter storm warning in effect through 6pm MDT Thursday — The National Weather Service is forecasting snowfall accumulations from 18-36 inches with up to 4 feet possible in parts of Colorado.

I am so jealous.

also...GO PHILS!

2009-10-26T19:48:00.000-07:00

death = 0 / carolyn = 4...good thing i have 9 lives.... beat that gas leak next to my bedroom!!

i just feel like singing...

the power of viagra

2009-10-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

this is "clean" but so disturbing i had to share...

we have white pepper for some reason.

2009-10-11T20:22:00.001-07:00

this will change your life

2009-10-04T20:38:00.001-07:00

if you don't die laughing from this video you are dead to me.

take your flirting somewhere else...

2009-10-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Matt Chandler once said:
"I told the girls that you need to be the godly women that God has called you to be, and you don't need to settle for bums, and if a guy who comes off like he's godly flirts with you without the inten...t of pursuing you, you need to call him on it, and tell him to grow up, and tell him that when he's ready to grow up and be a man, then maybe you can talk. But until then, he can take his flirting somewhere else."

some things to ponder

2009-09-30T20:08:00.000-07:00

This afternoon i had some revelations...

when most people start working out to get in shape for bathing suit season around march...i begin to work out now to get in shape for snowboarding season. this is not an exaggeration but actually what i realized during my work out today..

also, i realized today i have not bought shampoo/conditioner since june. i still have some in the shower, but i have not run out. june people. its october.

third revelation to go along with that is...ITS OCTOBER. I cannot believe its fall, i love the fall, but where did summer go?

2009-09-29T13:21:00.000-07:00

i need need need to renew my SUMMIT PASS

Wedding week!

2009-09-28T20:42:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a busy week.
Wednesday was work and homework until around 2:20, and I had too much caffeine in me. So Wednesday I didn't really sleep.

On Thursday I helped move Haley into her new home! Since I was blessed with a talent for organizing the unorganized, Haley was a prime candidate for my gifts so I blessed her with them for hours to get her all moved in. I got home and tried to go to bed early, that didn't really happen, but I managed to get there at a decent hour I suppose. At 3:18am, to be exact, I was suddenly awoken by this:

yes, that is my closet, and those are my clothes. But they are not on my hanger, they are definitely on top of my shoes. I was suddenly awoken by what I thought to be Andrea falling through the ceiling. I literally jumped out of bed to see my closet door swing open. I was terrified and shaking for about an hour. Needless to say, I didn't sleep much on Thursday night.

Friday was work early and all day and then the REHEARSAL DINNER!! So excited! Everyone was there, everyone was rehearsing, everyone was eating great mexican food...which in the end, is all that really matters. I got home late around 11:45 only to see my closet was fixed. I couldn't really leave the ridiculous amount of clothes on my floor and chair, so I had to fix them...and I had to fix them until 1:45am apparently, because thats when I finished and went to sleep. On Friday night, I didn't really get much sleep.

But on saturday! I walked outside at around 9:30 to make it to the wedding when I was approached by a woman complimenting my outfit and telling me "GIRL! You should be a model! Look at you! So pretty, oh girl, look at your pretty little toes!" My response, "what a nice thing to say so early in the morning" her response, "Girl...can I get a bus token? Okay, i need three i'm going to doylestown and I am HURT!" She was drunk..therefore the compliment was now void. But thats okay because the day was not about me, it was about jason and haley.
They are married now! Jason and Haley Harmon! SO EXCITING!!! Here are some pictures from the wedding...

It was such a fun block party wedding and I really think everyone had a great time..after the party we all went out for a beer and satyed out way too late. So on Saturday night I didn't sleep much.

On Sunday I helped with the Bethesda Project, a shelter in the city, and it really reminded me how much I am called to serve and be in some sort of service with my life. Even with my delirious sleep deprivation headache, I loved serving and meeting the people where their most basic needs are being met and when they are the most vulnerable. On Sunday night I had another LiNK (Liberty in North Korea) screening at my house...a good turn out of about 15 people showed up...watch whats going on here:

And then I went to bed at 9:30. And I slept. For the first time in about three weeks. I slept for over 12 hours. And it was glorious.
I'm ready for a new week. Here is a little something I woke up to the other day. Hope it makes you smile.

can i start over?

2009-09-21T18:54:00.000-07:00

You ever have days when you want to crawl back in to bed and just start over?

Today was that day for me.

It started off at 1am. I got a call from India..so I picked up at 1am in a daze and certainly confused. I told Victor I needed to go to sleep and hung up.

I woke up about a half an hour early to read before my internship, while I was pretty exhausted, I happy with the fact that Iam starting to discipline myself again. It was a really good time in reading and praying and I thought to myself...today is going to be a good day.

And then I walked outside.

As I got to the corner, the light was red, I crossed at people from at least 4 cars watched as I fell, coffee travel mug in hand, I fell on my hands and knees, wearing a dress, coffee went flying, and my knees were all scrapped up. I got up thought about taking a bow, but simply kept walking like nothing had just happened.

I walked two more blocks only to see my bus pull up to the stop as I am about a half block away, I RUN with my bloody knees to catch the bus. I succeed. I get on the bus, winded, bruised, and searching for a bus token. Things are flying and I have to go into my bag to get my wallet to get my ouch with my tokens in a plastic wrapping. I finally put one in the meter when the bus jerks forward. My wallet's coin part was still open. And yes, I think you know what happened next. Coins EVERYWHERE. They flew across the bus landing on the floor, hitting people as they made their way to the back of the bus. Embarrassed and flustered from my morning, I just sat down and giggled. A little boy named Ian got on the bus after this happened. He found SO many coins on the floor that he picked them all up and put them in his pocket. At least someone had a good day.

After all of this, I still managed to get lost under City Hall trying to take the Broad St line.

...but after my internship, I did run into my favorite ladies at Anthropologie, sipped on a pumpkin spice latte and met up with my good friend Liz, who I have not seen in about 2 years...I mean hey, things had to go up from this morning, right?

Do you have a nickel?

2009-09-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

I should be taking my quiz for my foundations class right now but I thought about this really beautiful moment I witnessed on the subway this morning, of all places.

I was sitting on the subway on my way to my internship, no one was talking and I was looking straight ahead to avoid all eye contact from all passengers when I heard her voice. "Do you have a nickel?" "Sir? Can I have a nickel?" She had on a purple dress and bedroom slippers that used to be pink but were now brown from the wear and tear of the streets. The dress was lose and missing buttons, so her stomach was uncomfortably exposed for everyone to see. She was, to say the least, down on her luck.

But it was a nickel. Five cents. Pocket change, and yet I kept looking forward averting the glares of the people around me. But we were on a subway, a moving lock box with no escape. There was no where to run or hide and moving or ignoring the only person talking would be rude, right? But I know what everyone was thinking. How rude of her to ask me for a nickel, to bother my "me" time on the train. The calm before the busy day at work. All these thoughts were going through my head when I heard another a voice, a smaller voice.

The young boy, about 7 years old, sitting across from me simply said, "oh, I've got a nickel" The innocence of the child and the selfless giving of someone who has not been ruined by the world. He wrestled to get into hi tight jeans for a while, he was no doubt going through a growth spurt and they no longer fit him. He asked his mom to hold his juice box while he reached in and grabbed the nickel from his pocket. He gave it to the woman and sat down, continuing to drink his juice box.

I was stunned. I had just witnessed one of the most beautiful pictures of love and non judgment I had ever seen. I was moved and judging from the fact that now everyone's gaze was no longer ahead, but instead on this young boy, I could tell others were moved too.

What a good reminder of grace and love.

2009-09-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think i am becoming bitter and cynical. sometimes. ...but i simply call it realism.

Not for one second

2009-09-13T19:22:00.000-07:00

My day started like any other..at noon. I woke up a little bit behind most of the city...well, maybe not most of the city but some of the city..I needed the rest because I went to bed at 3am last night..we went out to Fado's to celebrate my birthday which led to an dancing, gum on my shoe, UD reunion to the max, irish man trying to show me his hair in a place that is supposed to be hidden (later that night he got in a bar fight for hitting on some guys girlfriend - blood everywhere) and stuffing applesauce and a banana in a mail slot, it was glorious.

But today, today I ventured to New Jersey. I don't often go to NJ for many reasons. One - they wont let me pump my gas. I like pumping my gas, it makes me feel independent and competent. B, the round-abouts. they are pointless. And 3, I had a stalker from NJ once, he was a stalker..enough said. he's probably reading this right now (whats up?) and today I added yet another reason - i drove for almost two hours to get somewhere that should have taken a half an hour. Instead of taking responsibility - I will blame this on New Jersey. The armpit of America, the scapegoat. So screw you NJ for making me late for the Eagle's first football game of the season and for making me miss church later. It's always New Jersey's fault (remember if you are in Colorado blame it on the altitude, if you are on the east coast blame it on New Jersey)

After I got back into the city that I now have grown accustomed to, I met up with some people to go to Nako's play for the Philly fringe festival. I was walking downtown with a large group of people when I flashed Philadelphia. There was a tremendous amount of steam coming from a grate and I was wearing a skirt..when you put two together, you get lots of flashing and screaming and normally a few honks - I'm actually offended I didn't get any honks. But literally my skirt blew up to my face and I was completely exposed. Ahh its just like the days of the high school lock-in and the "sweat pants pantsing with thong" incident..details to follow in a later entry.

The play was phenomenal though. Nako, a friend and the playwright, did a great job about portraying the thought process of Henrik Isben..everyone should watch the second act coming in 2010.

After watching we all went our separate ways. I went home and realized not only do I dislike New Jersey, but I also hate Sunday nights for two reasons: the weekend is over and it is trash night. So I began to take the trash out but when I came back up the stairs he was back. This guy:

he was charging me again...just like he did a week ago when i put that red vase over him but he escaped. So i took off my shoe and I killed him. Thats right, dead on the stair. So I left him there. I thought it would serve as a warning for other critters that the ladies of the JACK house mean business and they shouldn't come around these parts anymore. Unfortunately, I don't think my roommates will be as excited about this theory, but I'm thinking its going to work.

With all the things I mentioned I hated, I must end this post with things that I loved from this weekend as well...rain, sunshine, driving with the windows down, singing at the top of your lungs, dancing and dance parties, good beer, friends, good food, parties, pizza from lazaros, celebrating friends, the theater!, "this american life" the tv show, coffee, laughing, talking through things, music and sleep.

i'm off the bus...

2009-09-08T10:41:00.000-07:00

for all your young lifers out there...watch and enjoy some of this summer's program

Community

2009-09-02T18:36:00.001-07:00

"Be daring, be difficult, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it safers, the creatures of the common place, the slaves of the ordinary" - Cecil Beaton

I came across this quote when I looked through all the encouraging letters people wrote to me before I left for India. This quote was from my friend Liz Leaver who encourages me to be more daring than she realizes...I read this and reflected on the fundraiser I just had for the orphanage. Most of you don't know, but we raised over $1400 for the Kadesh Children's Happy Home in Bangalore, India....incredible.

After I sent the care package full of clothes and toys, and wired the money I had to go for a bike ride and reflect on the graciousness of God and His people. the spirit of giving was something I shouldn't even be surprised about anymore, but I still am. I see it constantly from those around me and in my community. I saw it before I left for India, I saw it during my time in the homeless shelter, and I see it now in this new community in Philly. It is so beautiful. I want everyone to be a part of it and to experience it..it is something we miss in the hustle and bustle of life in the city, but I think if we stop to look and see the beautiful spirit of those around us, it would change our mentality. It would change the way we lived.

When I grow up....

2009-08-23T20:38:00.001-07:00

Well contrary to what girls these days think growing up is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcEZrEPDV9k

I think being a grown up is much different than I thought it would be when I was younger. I remember being a freshman in high school and walking down the hall and looking at juniors and seniors as not only gods, but as the older kids. They always seemed so much older than me. When I became a senior, I still felt young. I was open to hanging out with freshman and often times did with Young Life and sports. They did not seem "that much" younger than me. I never felt old.

The other day andrea and I went out to find a 90's inspired outfit for the 90's party that never happened (sorry brucey and dano).

We found these amazing keds at urban.

...as we shopped she was saying she was going to wear them without socks because her mom never let her wear her keds without socks when she was growing up.

As I thought about this conversation an earlier conversation came to mind. I was making cookies for a care package and I had extra dough left over. Andrea started to eat the dough. This is normal. She made a comment that her mom never let her eat dough and it wasn't until high school (most likely at my house) when she discovered cookie dough was edible and delicious! Her Mom always told her it would poison her or something...lies. Parental protection, but lies none-the-less.

The point of these stories is not to make Andrea look sheltered, in fact, my parents did many similar things to me when I was growing up. These stories were told, instead, to point out one simple fact: we are grown ups. When did that happen?

We can eat cookie dough until we throw up, we can wear socks with our sneakers, but if we are feeling crazy then heck! Take off those socks, who will tell you otherwise? No one, because we are grown ups.

If we want to wear mismatched clothes and sleep til noon, we can. If we want to have a beer or glass of wine with dinner, we can. If we want to fall in love or get in fights or quit our jobs, we can. We are adults. We are all growed up.

This reality is humbling. I don't really remember the point when I felt like a true adult. Now my friends are starting to get married and have children, most days this feels normal, but when I really think about it..the days of being told to go to my room do not feel so long ago. We are adults. We make adult decisions and go to grown up jobs. And grown up bars. Some of us make monumental grown up decisions and mistakes. The decisions we make affect us and we must now take responsibility for all of our actions. We are no longer told what to do (by our parents) but now, if you get in to trouble it normally holds much more weight. Because now you are responsible. Soon we will have children of our own to tell what to do and how to wear their socks and comb their hair. I plan on dressing my children up in costumes everyday and taking embarrassing photographs of them all the time. One day. Not any time soon. Because although I am an adult, I do not feel like one just quite yet.

But thats just the thing. I am one. So are you...
We are grown ups. When did that happen?

for now i wont worry about it...i will just listen to regina and sing at the top of the lungs. because i can. because i am a grown up.