So I was at this meeting the other week...People Living in Public Places...it kind of crazy that there are actually meetings like that and people actually come. But they were talking about how there is no where to go to the bathroom in denver...I never really thought about it before. But they had a solution. Self Cleaning bathrooms....San Fransisco has already done it, and so should Denver. I thought it was an interesting idea. But for now it's just an idea and nothing is really being done about it.

Had a really eventful past month here in Denver.
I have:
Gone snowboarding...a lot

Realized I am officially living pay check to pay check...aka broke
Gone home to Delaware


Got accepted into Eastern...YAY

Started a new position at the Rescue Mission with the Refugee program and community outreach

Finally started to feel like I fit in at Ann Taylor Loft

Started realizing Denver's real beauty

Began to realize I am truly not here for myself
Started appreciating what I have and what I had growing up

Learned how to lean on others for support

Made new friends. (doesnt she look friendly?)

Found a church (fellowship denver)

Got a speeding ticket
All of these things and more....life is crazy and its funny how when you really do start to pray for things, God really does give you opportunity and a little voice in your ear telling you to do right and change...theres this quote in Evan Almighty that says..
"If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?"

I think that is beautiful and so true. It has been very true for me, especially recently....I have been praying to be humbled and I think I could be the definition of "humbled" right now. It is the hardest thing I have ever experienced and I know I will come out of this a changed person because I am no longer depending on myself. I can't..I would drown. Life is short and the are hurting people in the world that we cross paths with everyday...why not love them? Why not take a little time to hear their story...why not a little bit less of us and a little bit more of others?

To leave you with a humbling fact...I just found out that there are 1,000 kids who are homeless in the Denver Public School system at any given time. 1,000!!! And 20% of the other students probably are too...but they go undetected. I learned this among other startling statistics at a staff meeting...tell me you wouldn't have walked away from that humbled and wanting to change things...now the problem is..where and how do i start?

Celebrate diversity

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character."

"A man who won't die for something is not fit to live."

"Nonviolent action, the Negro saw, was the way to supplement, not replace, the progress of change. It was the way to divest himself of passivity without arraying himself in vindictive force."

"Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."

"A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death."

"The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves an emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility."

"Nonviolence is the answer to the crucial political and moral questions of our time: the need for man to overcome oppression and violence without resorting to oppression and violence."

"It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."

"Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority."

"The bombs in Vietnam explode at home; they destroy the hopes and possibilities for a decent America."

"We must combine the toughness of the serpent and the softness of the dove, a tough mind and a tender heart"

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

"The nation doesn’t have sense enough to share its wealth and its power with the very people who made it so."

"Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of racial justice. Now is the time to get rid of segregation and discrimination."

"If you love your enemies, you will discover that at the very root of love is the power of redemption. You just keep loving people and keep loving them, even though they're mistreating you."

"What is wrong in the world today is that the nations of the world are engaged in a bitter, colossal contest for supremacy."

"When there is massive unemployment in the black community, it is called a social problem. But when there is massive unemployment in the white community, it is called a Depression."

"Antisemitism, the hatred of the Jewish people, has been and remains a blot on the soul of mankind. In this we are in full agreement. So know also this: anti-Zionist is inherently antisemitic, and ever will be so."

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

finally...

And here it is...the third and final video from Hales and my trip to the lovely new england.

If I were a dog, my name would be norma

So I have been thinking a lot about dogs lately, mostly because Alyssa:
moved out opf the mission :( and into a place of her own, and in that wonderful place of her own, she has a wonderfully hyper puppy, Oliver:
Oliver and I are friends even though he gets ridiculous and tries to eat me even when I am watching the ever so important show Man vs. Wild.
So today I had kind of a long day. I have to work at the mission and at LOFT all weekend, but its okay because I get MLK day off and an extra day next week. Anyway...I was had two trainings today and at the first one they fed us lunch because it was from 10-2. We had pizza and I'm not supposed to eat pizza. In fact I don't even like pizza that much. BUT when you eat at the mission, pizza is like a delightful feast that one cannot pass up. In fact when I do eat pizza I am usually satisfied with just one piece. But not today. Today I couldn't help but have two. As I was driving to my next training across town, I was thinking about how someone once told me that dogs eat everything they can fit in them as a survival thing because they don't know when they next time they will eat will be. And it occurred to me that I tend to stuff myself a lot more when I am eating real food outside of the mission lately, not because I don't know when the next time I will eat will be, but because I do not know when they next time I will eat something good will be. So in conclusion, I have come to the point of comparing myself to a dog. So just call me Norma.

So this priest, Levite, and Sarmaitan all walk into a bar...

This past Sunday I went to church at Greenwood Community. Tom, the pastor, is going through the parables of Jesus…which I have heard too many times, it seems to be a theme of churches I visit. So I sat back to hear the same things I have heard many times before when he said something that struck a chord with me, so to speak.

The parable is in Luke 10, at the end I think starting with verse 31. It is the one about the guy on the road to Jericho who is beaten up and the priest and the Levite pass him but the Samaritan man stops and helps him and pays an inn keeper to watch over him until he is better. Anyway…Tom’s message was about helping people and not living life with blinders on. Look around and see need and help, stop being so sheltered by thinking everything around you is fine..look around, everything is not fine. Well he made these three points at the end.

Care – See
About – (I honestly forget what word goes here..)
For - Respond

…WHICH MEANS… care about people and do something about it. Actually see the need, don't ignore it any longer. But what he really said that is still sticking with me is you can care about something/someone and not do anything in the same way you can care for someone and not about them or their situation. Which I feel like I can get in the habit of doing. I am in a ministry opportunity/situation all the time. And sure I help people at the mission everyday and I care for their needs by helping them, but sometimes when I’m tired or I don’t really feel like it..I don’t care about them. I think that is the extra step that God calls us to take when we “do things in the name of Christ”. We can throw money around when there is need, but the extra step is getting to know the person who you are throwing money at.

Sometimes life lessons are hard but good. I think this was something that was hard to hear but good to be convicted of.

New England as we know it.

2 out of the 3 videos Haley and I recorded on our new england road trip.....I'll post the third later. For now - enjoy these. (ps they're not that exciting, but at least Haley and I think that we are really funny, and really, thats all that matters)

Perspective

"I start wondering what it must be like to live in the shadow of a mountain. All of Houston lives in the shadow of downtown. Downtown is how we orient ourselves. It stands as our compass, a mountain of glass and mirrors. It strikes me as I think about it, how beautiful we find massive structures, either man-made or organic. I wonder if we find them amazing because they make us feel small and insignificant, because they humble us. And I remember feeling that way back in Colorado, that I was not the center of the cosmos, that there were greater things, larger things, massive structures, forged in the muscle of earth and time, pressing up into the heavens as if to say the story is not about you, but for you, as if to remind us we are not gods."
Through Painted Deserts

I read this as I was flying over the rockies, and it struck me probably more than if I wasn't flying over massive structures that constantly humble me. Get this - you and I are not the center of the cosmos. Sometimes I forget. I forget why I am here, I am here to serve, trust, and glorify God. Be in His constant splendor. He made us to praise Him. I know thats hard for a self centered race, such as humans, to grasp. We think...well then God must be selfish, and yes, He even says so, He is a jealous God. But He has reason to be.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and a lot of wrestling with this whole "what is life really about" "what would really make me happy" it always comes back with questions towards God. Not because I am a Christian, but because how else do you explain everything? Life, beauty, nature, love...how else would you explain that? How would something so beautiful just happen on its own? It wouldn't. Sometimes having perspective of not having things, helps you realize how wonderful and simple life can be. Not even material things, but things like love, and friendship and family. I talk to people everyday who have nothing but life and the love the God has given them to give to others. And they survive, most of them are even happy.

Why do we make things so complicated? Over analyzing and dwelling on things we cannot change. I have made a resolution for 2008..to let go and love. I hold on to things and dwell and wonder and I miss things that are happening around me. I miss things that are happening to others, I miss life. I am happy I made the decision to move to colorado, to try something new on my own and trust that God is here with me, no matter what mistakes I make, no matter what wrong turns I make. It is comforting to know that I am not actually alone in this big city. I am not alone, I never have been I never will be.

You may not be able to change your situation, but you can sure as hell change your attitude.
It's all in your perspective.

Christmas time with the Larrivees

This is what we do when we get together and i am somewhat ashamed.



do not judge us.

To all my fellow dancers

This was just too good not to share....oh the days of pink tights and black leotards, but I must say none of Mrs. Emmon's dances were this cool.

the Bronco invasion

Life is funny. The Denver Rescue Mission is something like the third largest non profit or homeless shelter in the nation or something like that. So I shouldn't be so surprised that the broncos are so stinkin involved... it's always fun when they come because the kids (and the parents) get all dressed up and get autographs and absolutely come alive. Here are some pictures from tonight's Bronco's Christmas Party at the Crossing (technically this all happened in my dining room)






Life is funny. i love it.

...and if you feel like reading...it'll be worth it.

It is interesting how you sometimes have to leave home before you can ask difficult questions, how the questions never come up in the bedroom you grew up in, in the town in which you were born. It’s funny how you can’t ask difficult questions in a familiar place, how you have to stand back a few feet and see things in a new way before you realize nothing that is happening to you is normal
The trouble with you and me is we are used to what is happening to us.

~Through Painted Deserts, Donald Miller.

Ah Denver. I am learning, but sometimes I doubt whether or not I am growing up or just thinking about growing up. It has been a very weird transition for me. At times it feels temporary and other times it sinks in that this is now home. I have moved from home. I finished school. I am a grown up.

I have been looking at graduate school programs in between my two jobs at the mission and Ann Taylor Loft, and it kind of hit me. If I leave here, I have to start all over again on the east coast. Starting over takes a lot of energy, now granted it wouldn’t be exactly like “starting over” out east, I would hopefully get to live with Haley and Kendra, and be close to home and have friends near by that I can call to come over and hang out with me on a bad day. But hopefully when the time comes for me to leave here, I will have established friends like that here in Denver. The problem is they’re not here yet. Where are they anyway? How do you make friends in such a large city? Real friends..not call you on a Saturday night because you told them to friends. But friends who can tell when you’re in a bad mood, or know what kind of ice cream to buy you because you hang out all the time friends. When does that happen? When does that magic moment occur when calling them is no longer tense because you know you’re not bothering them? Is there a special formula I missed out on because I was always so busy doing other things that I happened to glance over it? I used to think I was okay at making friends, it came easy to me, and I appreciated that. But I think something happened on the flight out to Colorado that took away all of my social skills all together and now I am an insecure stuttering young girl.

I do believe that moving here, leaving home, has forced me to ask hard questions. But it has also helped me evaluate friendships and the value that people have in our lives. I talk to many lonely people on a daily basis who do not have friends, some of them do not even have families. I have both, and I don’t think I will ever take them for granted again. Being here has caused me to reevaluate silly arguments or disagreements I had with people who I care about. The arguments happened because we’re all human, and guess what that means? We’re flawed…we’re not perfect, that’s what makes life interesting, among many other things...

I had two clients recently who came to me to fill out an application for our program. Both of them sat in my office and wept. Grown women, with children. They wept and said to me "how did I let it get this far?" They also expressed that they hadn't stopped long enough to really think about their situation and they both have not talked to anyone else about it. They are holding it all in. And it all came out. I prayed for both of them in the office, and it was beautiful, not because they were my words, but because I honestly felt God in our presence. healing these women, taking burdens away, letting them know it was okay and I was here to listen to them and not judge them.

I think this holiday season everyone should take a minute and listen. I know it;s changed my life because I actually listen now. And I actually pray for others and I honestly care that God hears their cries and heals them. Life is not easy. It's especially not easy when you're alone or just simply lonely. Listen. Care. Love. You'll change someone's life.

So for now I leave you with another beautiful quote from Donald Miller.....

We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn’t it?
It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you.
Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry. Everything will be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.

Just so ya know.

Just some fun facts from an organization in Denver called The Family Tree found here:
http://www.thefamilytree.org/resources/questions_answers/homelessness.html
I thought it would be interesting for some of you to read

• Where do homeless people stay at night?
  They often stay with friends, extended family, in cars, under bridges, shelters, on the street, or in 24-hour restaurants or grocery stores.
  
  
• Why can't they just get a job?
  They can get a job. But can they get a job that pays enough to cover housing costs, utilities and everything associated with that? Many homeless people, some with families, do not have much education or work experience. They may not have a car providing them access to sufficient job opportunities. Domestic violence victims are in a quandary. They usually have a home, but cannot return to it for fear of abuse. Alcoholics and drug addicted people often need extra support, therapy or group homes to maintain some stability.
  
  
• Aren't most homeless people alcoholics, drug abusers or mentally ill?
  No. Actually, most homeless people have no history of alcohol or drug problems or mental illness. Homelessness is an economic problem.
  
  
• Aren't there plenty of shelters?
  There are many fine shelters, but not enough. It's expensive to run a certified facility. It may take days or weeks for a homeless person to find a room, especially during the winter months.
  
  
• Should I give money to people who are panhandling? Why don't they get a job?
  They are actually "working" when they panhandle, but not legitimately. They play on others' guilt and usually are using the money to buy liquor or drugs. Panhandlers often shun main-stream society considering themselves as having a more free lifestyle. While some can earn hundreds of dollars a week, their signs are usually shams. Most have a place to live. This is organized panhandling. It is best not to give directly to panhandlers, rather to donate to legitimate programs that offer help such as Salvation Army, Samaritan House, Family Tree and many others in our community.
  
  
• Why doesn't social services take their children if they can't adequately care for them?
  If a child attends school, is not abused or neglected, social services usually does not take the children. They prefer to keep families together and give supportive assistance to stabilize their lives. Most often, if a family is in a shelter, social services will not remove a child unless there are extenuating circumstances. However, if the parent cannot provide a stable home or if he or she is on drugs, alcohol, prostitutes or cannot provide proper care, the child may removed.

New Beginnings

So I know I told many of you to check my blog for the details of the awful week I had, however, to add to the week, this blogspot thing wouldn't work and therefore I could not post.
But I will now enlighten you of the MANY things that have happened in my life over the past two weeks. I think the most exciting thing is I bought a car. My first car. I paid for it in full and let me tell you...it's ghetto, but I love it as much as anyone would love their first ghetto car. It came complete with no radio and it smelled as bad as it looked, covered in dust. Every time I get in the dust bothers me, but I never think to rbing out a rag or something....but that car is chalked full o love. Here is it on the day I bought it....I know not the greatest picture of the actualy car, but I hope you get the idea...His name is Thumper and he is a well loved 95 Ford Taurus. And I am a proud mama.
So because of my new car purchase, I had to get a new job. One that actually pays money so I can put gas in my Thumper. So that same night I went out and applied for jobs, and what do you know, I got a job that night at Ann Taylor LOFT. Love. It is true love.

I have been doing many things to keep me busy, like for example on Halloween, Jessica, Ben, and Jessica's mom and I all went to the Bronco's stadium to go trick or treating with the Somalian family we know. Here are a couple pictures from that.
Somalia meets Ronald McDonald..It was great.

Now the reason that my week was so hard (not bad just hard) last week was because of my work at the Denver Rescue Mission. I had to take a lot of hard phone calls and left thinking, why do these awful things happen to people? Really, God? Why would You ever let one of your children go through this despair and heartache. And there is nothing I can do about it. I called my Mom and she told me I couldn't solve the world's problems, and shes right and that was comforting, but I really want to. I want to love every neglected child and give rent to every desperate family. But i can't I can do small things with great love though. And here is where it all takes place. This is my office.

and this is the green chair that angie thinks she owns, but one day it will magically appear on my side of the office because i love it oh so much. and this is our quote board. I don't know that you can actually read anything on it, but there are some good things on it. Including the last one...Jesus..BUST EM OUT.
and this is the very first family that I helped move into housing. So great and so worth all the awful phone calls I had to take to get there and help at least one family.

And now that I have a car I am able to take the Somalian girls out. Here we are at the Colorado History Museum..They loved this and all the crafts they got to do here!
So life is good and I am solid. I actually met quite a few people this week through random connections and had a really solid end to my week. I did mentor training with a church, went snowboarding on Friday just because I could (it was awesome) and I went to a BBQ in Evergreen with fun people. I have felt really blessed this week amongst all the crap, and I feel like that is a true sign that I will go through this hard times but I will be guided and comforted through them as well.

I went to church at a new church again this morning, its called Pathways and Heather and I have heard all about it from numerous people so we decided to go. And the sermon was basically speaking to me and in a lot of things that I have been wrestling with and I think if you are interested you should call me and we can talk about it.

Anyway...life is sweet here and I am enjoying it more and more the more I see and meet people. Tonight a couple of us are going to the Grizzly Rose to go Line dancing...ha, weird, I know. But great. I love it here, but I have been throwing the idea around about coming back east and going to Eastern for grad schoool...in fact I already applied! We'll see where life leads me. But for now I am going to leave you with this amazing video. Also taken at the Broncos stadium

so about those pictures.

This post is going to be almost entirely pictures of my last two weeks here since my pictures didn't work on my last post. ENJOY.

Jessica and Heather at Buca de Beppos...our favorite friday night hangout..lovee


The girls and I schooled this massive chocolate cake.



Heather and I decided IHOP was a great idea for a Sunday morning brunch on a rainy Sunday...little did we know that we would leave with wonderful balloon animals. Heathers is a giraffe and mine is a weird bear thing with a daisy...who know i was uncreative under pressure

Heather surprised me with this AWESOME glove thing....please read the middle finger.

And more decorations have gone up! This was my bed sheet the first week i was here...now it is a decorative hangy thing in our room. love it.

HAIR CUT! Thats right...you may not be able to tell since its straight but i cut SO much hair off...i kind of hate it when its curly though....

This is directly outside of my building. If you look past the flowers and past the train you can see the mountains! :)


Jessica , Heather, Jessica's mom and I took our Somali family to the zoo...please notice the short sleeves and 80 degree weather and note that this was Saturday.


And this is my gord on my window sill on SUNDAY. The next day with SNOW! Absolutely crazy.



Jenna, Angie (my boss who i loveeee), me and Heather at the Denver Rescue Mission banquet...best food i;ve had all month. And an amazingly moving night. awesome time..however.....

....there was chaos that ensued beforehand. Heather and I had rushed from the zoo to get ready, and ran into some "mishaps" and our bathroom looked like this when we got back home. insanity.

So thats my world. One day I will post a picture of my office on here. until then....here are the churchs i have check out and loved out here.
adullam
next level church
greenwood

check 'em out....and let me know what you think.
I hope everyone is enjoying the random posts...I would say more meaningful things, but I want you to call me :) Miss everyone a lot.

ps....i am so going downtown during the world series craziness and its going to rock.

cha cha cha changes

So Denver is a little different from the East coast. Yesterday was full of fun activities. In the morning Heather and I volunteered at the emergency over night shelter downtown, so great and then in the afternoon, I was at the zoo with the Somali family we adopted. It was beautiful outside! I was wearing short sleeves and was semi sweaty..it was like 85 degrees and I loved it. We had this really great banquet, I watched Babel...and called it a night.
This morning at 8:30, I woke up for church, opened the blinds and discovered 30 degree weather and get this...........FLIPPIN SNOW. I mean...I guess this is normal for Denver and yes, people have been telling me this is what happens since I arrived here...but seriously. Snow.

This week was great though. Lots of fun things. I met a Bronco's player...Champ Bailey, he came and played with the kids, they had an "October birthday party". I went to this thing called the White Fence Farm with the family from Burma...they have animals that youo can pet after you eat some of their relatives inside. A sheep attacked me.

Overall, a pretty great week. I got a great haircut and stayed up way too late every night. Of course, I have pictures of everything...but this website is not working, so I will add them later.

God is good and I am hungry. Send me mail.

The Wind

Watch and enjoy. Thank you Elizabeth Leaver.

A peace that surpasses all understanding

The other day in work my boss was praying for one of my co workers health and he said "may we have peace that surpasses all understanding" and I feel like if nothing else, I hope that is was I learn in this year of service. If nothing else...a peace that I don't understand.

Everything at the mission is going really well, I love my job and my coworkers...it gets a little draining calling people, but I take frequent breaks that I don't really have time for :) But Angie (awesome case manager I share an office with) and I have the best talks and it makes my day seem a lot easier than it would if I didn't have anyone to talk to. Yesterday Dave Hong and Jay Ford came to visit Denver and Dave asked me how I deal with my job and all the heartbreaking stories I constantly hear...and it definitely helps being able to talk to someone else about whats going on and be affirmed in my sadness or frustration...depending on the client. I have a had a lot of tough cases lately...but I have been able to deal with them especially with so many familiar faces around Denver this past week :)
(Jay and heather and I stuffed in Dave's tiny car with all his stuff)

Friday...My Aunt Barbara came to town to "Spoil me" and holy crap did she ever. We went to an arts festival and an awesome Ethiopian Restaurant on Friday night and met some crazy people. Bust fun.


Saturday was long but so great. We explored Denver until there was nothing left to see, breakfast, pumpkin picking, shopping and went "hiking" in Boulder falls..so great. And then the Phillies lost :(



Sunday was an unexpected amazing day. Church, nap, and two random visitors from Maryland. Two amazing guys who I never realized were as amazing as they are until this weekend. We went to the Botanical Gardens and took tons of pictures........it was all Mike's idea. Mike who spells his last name wrong. And Reid, whos last name is actually Richards...His real name is actually Reid Paul William Richards Klopp and we have a cooler high five than you.




All in all Denver is challenging me. In such good ways and I have time and opportunity to really think about things and struggle with them and question them. Isaiah 40 has become a passage that I constantly look and and think oh my goodness I just want more. And then today when I was calling churches back...I stumbled across a website of this awesome church. They had their congregation sleep out. They invited members to come with only a pair of tennis shoes, pants, t shirt and a long sleeve shirt. then people from the community brought some blankets and food supplies, but not everyone had something...they only had what the community brought. And to top it off, the church had two cops come in the middle of the night, turn on their sirens and "rough them up" a little.....just to show them how it feels. They used this as a fundraiser and raised over $1300 to give to our program and donated all the blankets and supplies to our downtown shelter. Now that is visible love. On their website I found this....

Ignoring the problem won't fix it.

-------------Saturday, October 6, 2007-----------------

Love reveals itself in works of mercy. Among such works are to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the naked, to visit and help the sick and the imprisoned, to give refuge to the homeless, and to be concerned about orphans. All this should be done with sincere and unselfish love, without any boasting or expectations of gratitude.

beautiful. You have read a lot now, I'm going to leave you with some more pictures of my week :)

This is Boulder with weird box headed people playing music and dancing.

Three generations of social workers....me, my aunt and Alice. We went to see a play and Alice is awesome...she was my grandmothers best friend and travel buddy back in the day
The Amount of awesomeness from my Aunt's care package
FIRST CIRCUS EVER!!!
This is one of the refugee families that DRM adopted and the girl interns are working with. We took them to the Circus and it was awesome...I was just as excited for them.
This is my lovely roommate....right before we dyed her hair...she trusts me so much :)

okay and my computer is being weird and i am on a time constraint so more pictures will be coming next time...

ps anyone can leave comments :)