Sunday, September 13, 2009

Not for one second

My day started like any other..at noon. I woke up a little bit behind most of the city...well, maybe not most of the city but some of the city..I needed the rest because I went to bed at 3am last night..we went out to Fado's to celebrate my birthday which led to an dancing, gum on my shoe, UD reunion to the max, irish man trying to show me his hair in a place that is supposed to be hidden (later that night he got in a bar fight for hitting on some guys girlfriend - blood everywhere) and stuffing applesauce and a banana in a mail slot, it was glorious.

But today, today I ventured to New Jersey. I don't often go to NJ for many reasons. One - they wont let me pump my gas. I like pumping my gas, it makes me feel independent and competent. B, the round-abouts. they are pointless. And 3, I had a stalker from NJ once, he was a stalker..enough said. he's probably reading this right now (whats up?) and today I added yet another reason - i drove for almost two hours to get somewhere that should have taken a half an hour. Instead of taking responsibility - I will blame this on New Jersey. The armpit of America, the scapegoat. So screw you NJ for making me late for the Eagle's first football game of the season and for making me miss church later. It's always New Jersey's fault (remember if you are in Colorado blame it on the altitude, if you are on the east coast blame it on New Jersey)

After I got back into the city that I now have grown accustomed to, I met up with some people to go to Nako's play for the Philly fringe festival. I was walking downtown with a large group of people when I flashed Philadelphia. There was a tremendous amount of steam coming from a grate and I was wearing a skirt..when you put two together, you get lots of flashing and screaming and normally a few honks - I'm actually offended I didn't get any honks. But literally my skirt blew up to my face and I was completely exposed. Ahh its just like the days of the high school lock-in and the "sweat pants pantsing with thong" incident..details to follow in a later entry.

The play was phenomenal though. Nako, a friend and the playwright, did a great job about portraying the thought process of Henrik Isben..everyone should watch the second act coming in 2010.

After watching we all went our separate ways. I went home and realized not only do I dislike New Jersey, but I also hate Sunday nights for two reasons: the weekend is over and it is trash night. So I began to take the trash out but when I came back up the stairs he was back. This guy:


he was charging me again...just like he did a week ago when i put that red vase over him but he escaped. So i took off my shoe and I killed him. Thats right, dead on the stair. So I left him there. I thought it would serve as a warning for other critters that the ladies of the JACK house mean business and they shouldn't come around these parts anymore. Unfortunately, I don't think my roommates will be as excited about this theory, but I'm thinking its going to work.

With all the things I mentioned I hated, I must end this post with things that I loved from this weekend as well...rain, sunshine, driving with the windows down, singing at the top of your lungs, dancing and dance parties, good beer, friends, good food, parties, pizza from lazaros, celebrating friends, the theater!, "this american life" the tv show, coffee, laughing, talking through things, music and sleep.

3 comments:

freeseth said...

2 things;

Toward the beginning of your blog, you started listing your dislikes of Jersey numerically but, the second reason was listed alphabetically. Then the third reason was listed numerically again.

The other thing is that when you kill roaches, and you don't wash the area it actually attracts MORE roaches (they are cannibalistic). One of the reasons roach food is so effective is because one roach eats it, takes it back to the colony, dies and the other roaches that eat him die from the poison.

But, hey, I'm reading your blog.

Anonymous said...

you should stop hating on new jersey. it is home to many wonderful things --- like ME! ... i miss your face. lets hang out soon! ~ jamie

andrea said...

NO. he is back? HE IS DOOMED