Wednesday, August 28, 2013


Over the past couple weeks I have really wanted to write. Which is ironic since I spend most of my time at work writing. But every time I am feeling motivated to write I am not by a computer or I have previous engagements I am required to attend like "work" or "church" or "eat" or "duck dynasty". Life is hard.

I have been thinking a lot about a topic that ties in to my previous post about identity; I have been thinking a lot about perception lately. Our identity is often times wrapped up in what others think of us...their perception of who we are. Some times their perceptions of who we are are spot on, but a lot of times they are not because we spend a lot of time with inner dialogue we never and should never voice and therefore we feel no ones perception of us is really all that accurate. 

Because I am in the helping field and a thoughtful writer, I thought I would just give you the definition of "perception" to make sure we are on the same page. Merriam Webster (whoever made him/her/it boss) said perception is defined as "a result of perceiving". When I found that to be unhelpful, I noticed a link "See perception defined for kids" ah ha. That's where I need to explore. I clicked, expecting simple, concise knowledge and I got this, "a result of perceiving".  Right....moving on.

There is this "common thought" if you will, about a particular man in my circle of friends. I have heard it from multiple people, including him. They (being his roommates) say, "he is the most not put together, together person in the world". Which is a ridiculous statement for so many reasons, I mean have they met all the people in the world? So dramatic. I know nothing about being dramatic. Such an exaggeration.*

Anyway, I have thought about that because the person in which this statement has been made (I wont 'out' him publicly) does not feel this is true. This is just a perception of him. This made me start thinking....what are peoples perceptions of me? What are the false perceptions rolling around in my life?

While I was thinking about it, I was trying on dresses at a store. I was on vacation and when you spend money on vacation it doesn't count (false perception 1). I also have this idea that I am much more glamorous than I actually am while on vacation, because I'm not working and I'm always ordering food and ice cream (if you eat terrible food but you are on vacation you don't gain weight) (false perceptions 2 & 3). Vacation dialogue goes something like this, "Now where is my butler" "Another margarita please, yes one for everyone in the restaurant for everyone in the world!" "I have an endless supply of money" "oh, you have to work? That must be dreadful, darling" "I would like to purchase a hermit crab for every child on the beach" "world peace!". I also begin to think its okay to refer to strangers as "honey" "doll" and "dear". It's not.

Anyway, I was trying on dresses at a local Delaware store that I love and only shop at when I'm feeling glamorous (on vacation). I put on a dress and thought "Oh, I could wear this to a wedding" "Oh, I can wear this one to a rehearsal dinner" "This is a great date dress" "This dress will be perfect for when I have my own rehearsal dinner in 50 years, I'm sure it will still be the latest trend and fit me like a dream" "If I just lose like 8 pounds, this one will zip"

I know....Houston...well, you know the rest.

The problem here is that I already have dresses for all the weddings and rehearsal dinners I have planned for October (three) so I don't need another one (what I need to buy are wedding gifts). Also this thought process reveals that I perceive I am so important that my friends will notice if I wear the same dress to more than one wedding (hint: they won't unless I am wearing white or if they have a crush on me and spend hours going through all of my 4309847560247 pictures I have tagged on facebook - a problem for another post). And the second incorrect perception is that I am rich. Both of these perceptions are false and I walked out of the dressing room with the 28 dresses I had tried on and handed them back to the nice sales woman. Surprisingly, she did not snarl at me when I said "no, I don't want any of them. that's right, not one. But thank you for letting me take up one of your two dressing rooms for the last 4 hours".

As far as the thoughts regarding 'date dresses', I will start by saying I am a woman. I am not dating anyone and I do not have endless dates lined up and therefore do not need date dresses. But like I said, I am a woman living in America and we were taught in 2nd grade to have date dresses. This is more of a fact than a perception, but I do perceive I am awesome enough that someone will want to date me...some day. And when that day comes, I will not have the perfect date dress. And I'm sure the guy won't notice, because hopefully I will be on a date with a guy who is straight....and doesn't understand the meaning of "sooo last season".

Another perception is "I am funny". I laugh at myself all the time, literally all the time. Sometimes I start laughing before I get a chance to say my funny thought. Sometimes I don't get to say my funny thing, but I have satisfaction in knowing how funny I could have been. Sometimes I get the chance to say the funny thing and no one else laughs except me. From this scenario, I still have satisfaction from at least one person laughing - me. Win-win... I have come to realize I am not that funny, but I really like to laugh and find a lot about life and people humorous.... Seriously, if I didn't laugh about all the crazy stuff that happens to me, I would lose it.

I thought about continuing this post, to include my perceptions about my weight, salt water taffy and my 8th grade formal but I have learned recently that less is more. So I will save my other perceptions for a "part 2" or during a conversation where you buy me a coffee/beer/ice cream...or maybe a coffee ice cream float in a stout....I have a really hard time with 'less is more'.

*I am very dramatic. This was blatant use of sarcasm.   Also tried making up a word here. It didn't make sense, so I took it out but I googled it before I deleted it to see if it was a word. Sometimes Daniel Luster does this and he gets one right. I did not.


frontrowseat said...

HA! Now there are at least two people laughing. My favorite line: "hopefully I will be on a date with a guy who is straight..."

frontrowseat said...

HA! Now there at least two people laughing. My favorite line: "because hopefully I will be on a date with a guy who is straight." I identified with a lot of this (while laughing). Thanks for a great post!